Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Hillary Just Lost My Vote

I suppose at this point it's fairly well known that Hillary Clinton was searching for a campaign theme song. Overlooking the obvious questions as to why a political campaign needs a theme song (Bill made a good point with Fleetwood Mac in 1992, since then it's been gratuitous), this has been a fairly entertaining series of events. It got her scads of attention. There was clever marketing around it on the web. Involving the public seemed like a good idea.

Unfortunately, the public are morons.

Today we find that the masses have spoken and have selected Celine Dion's "You and I" as the winner.


Okay, putting aside the fact that Celine Dion... how shall I put it... sucks, has anyone outside of Quebec even heard of this song? Probably not, because it's atrocious! At least the release video, a spoof on the Sopranos series finale, was clever and funny (although dear old Bill was wooden as ever in delivering his lines. How can someone who can give good speeches be so horrible at delivering lines?).

But you want to talk about vast, right-wing conspiracies, has anyone checked who was voting for this thing? I mean, look at some of the contenders! The Police's "Every Little Thing She Does," U2's "Beautiful Day," and Lenny Kravitz's "Are You Gonna Go My Way" (Hey Obama, need a campaign song?). How could Celine Dion win out over these? She shouldn't even have been in the finals.

I'm just waiting for the day we have a candidate who, when asked about music, will talk about the Clash and the Cure and then say "Dude, have you heard the new Wilco album?"

Never gonna happen.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Irony is Alive and Well at the Library

The following is a scan of an actual circulating book from a library system associated with ours.

Thank God some things did go out of style.

My fellow librarians, I join with my Wisconsin colleague in a desperate plea to weed your collections!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Somebody stop the world, I want to get off!

Seriously, is it just me or is there something terribly wrong with people on this planet?

First of all, why in the name of all that's holy (or not as the case may be) are we still hearing about Paris Hilton? Who the fuck cares how she's doing in jail? Who cares that she's in jail? She's a walking disaster area who needed to be locked up since apparently no one in a position to do so ever told her "no" to anything she wanted! I'm sorry, but I don't care how much money your daddy makes. You violate probation, you go to jail. Yes she should be in jail, no I don't want to hear about it any more. Please!

Next, Paul McCartney's latest album is being released on the Starbucks label. A coffee shop has a record label? If this isn't a clear sign that the recording industry is dead, I don't know what is. I also think it's a pretty clear sign that Sir Paul is dead too. Of course, he's been dead for years. No, wait, I'm thinking of the Beatles that actually had talent. They're the ones who are dead! That's right...

And of course, the perennial favorite. If I said the words "attorney general," "firing," "subpoena," and "testify before congress," in reference to current events, what year is it? That's right folks, 1973! Yours truly was a mere 16 days old, and events that would take place 33 years later were already playing themselves out. Why in GOD'S name are we not impeaching this madman? I commend to all of your reading United States V. George W. Bush et al.. We can get an indictment. He deserves it. What's stopping us?

So I'm sending out a plea to all those who lead the country and who keep us informed of what's going on. Stop pandering to celebrities, corporations, and political safety. Lead for a change. Help us all to stop wallowing in this ridiculous nonsense!